If you’ve read my first blog post, and/or have been following me on social media, then you already know that I’m not afraid to say things that go against the current culture. Religion and Spirituality are two of my favorite topics of discussion.
To increase the consciousness of those around me, some things just need to be said, right? That’s what this blog is attempting to do…increase the consciousness of every reader.
And in turn, it is my hope, that each reader will increase the consciousness of those in their worlds.
Now, before I get into toxic spirituality, let’s look at what spirituality is.
What is Spirituality?
According to Oxford, spirituality is the quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things.
In other words, spirituality is looking at your life beyond your physical senses (sight, smell, hearing, taste, and touch).
For the record, you can be both spiritual and religious OR you can be one or the other. While religion focuses more on beliefs, traditions, doctrines, etc., spirituality focuses on the individual transcending our three dimensional world.
Spirituality and religion actually share some of the same practices though.
Spiritual and Religious Practices
Practicing spirituality looks different for everyone. Below are some examples of spiritual practices. Some of them are used in both religious and spirituality while others pertain only to spirituality or religion.
- Prayer
- Meditation
- Ceremonies/Rivals
- Miracles
- Dreams
- Visualizations
- Spirit Guides/Holy Spirit
- Angel Numbers
- Practicing Gratitude
- Meeting with your community (church, mosque, synagogue, etc.)
To be clear, none of these practices, whether spiritual or religious, are toxic. Spiritual practices have been very helpful to me as a follower of Christ for over 20 years and new practitioner of spirituality.
What makes spirituality toxic is the attitude that these practices can “cure” you of any and all negativity or feelings that aren’t deemed “good.”
So then the question becomes, what is toxic spirituality and how do you know if you’ve engaged in the practice of it?
Toxic Spirituality
The answer is much simpler than you know. If you have the belief that you must ALWAYS be positive and anything negative is bad, then you are practicing toxic spirituality.
What makes this belief so toxic is that we prevent our own learning and growing by suppressing emotions that actually benefit us.
Each one of our emotions carries information. This information is not good or bad, it’s just that…information.
Emotions Inform Us
For example, when you are experiencing anxiety, you are not a bad person or doing something wrong. Your anxiety is telling you something.
Perhaps, it could be an indication that you need to leave the house a couple of minutes early because you don’t like traffic. By leaving the house a few minutes early, you avoid traffic, and therefore, less likely to experience road rage.
And no amount of meditation or prayer is going to take the anxiety away. It will, most likely, remain until you learn the lesson and leave a few minutes early.
When you neglect or fail to gather the information from your emotions, because you’ve suppressed them, for the sake of being “positive,” you remain stuck in your current situation or even worse, you begin to self-medicate.
This belief that you must always be positive is detrimental to your spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical health.
Have You Become Toxic?
Clichés make toxic spirituality so subtle because we’ve become so accustomed to them that we don’t even realize how dangerous they are.
If you’ve ever found yourself saying or thinking any of these, chances are, you’re practicing toxic spirituality.
- “Everything happens for a reason.” While this may be true, it is dangerous because you are minimizing the experience and, therefore, the information that you need to grow from the situation. Yes, everything happens for a reason but that doesn’t mean you can’t feel sad, mad, angry, disappointed, etc. by what has happened.
- “Just be happy.” This is toxic because it doesn’t leave space or grace for any other emotion to flow through. Why should you “just be happy” when your dog just died? You are allowed to grieve your loss.
- “Focus on the good.” First of all, who’s to say what’s good or bad. What’s deemed good for one person may not be good for another person. Life isn’t just black and white, there is a huge area of gray. The gray area is where we grow and mature.
- “You’ll get over it.” Of course, you’ll get over it but the only way to get over something and heal is to actually go THROUGH IT. This is a process that cannot be rushed. You must allow the necessary time it takes to overcome.
Personal Responsibility
Part of the problem with these statements is that they leave no room to accept personal responsibility for the things that happen in your life.
While it is true that you can’t control other people, places, or things, you can control your thoughts, feelings, and responses to these events. That is what you are responsible for.
When you take responsibility for these things, you inevitably become a better person.
I want to make this clear: don’t feel guilty if you’ve ever said or thought any of the above statements. As Maya Angelou said, “when you know better, you do better.”
Perhaps, you didn’t know before so there is no need for judgement.
Overcoming Toxic Spirituality
The way to overcome toxic spirituality is increasing your consciousness.
Becoming conscious of your desire to ignore all of your emotions is the first step in overcoming the toxicity. You must first recognize that you are engaging in this thinking and behavior.
Again, don’t judge yourself, just observe it.
Secondly, understand that it is healthy to experience the full spectrum of emotions. That’s what makes you human, your emotions. Animals, trees, insects can’t feel emotions because they are not equipped like you are.
Lastly, embrace the fact that you deserve healing. When you get stuck in the religious and spiritual loop, you deny yourself the ability to heal and learn more about who you are as a person and your role in the universe.
Journey Into Consciousness
If you read my first blog post, then you know that consciousness allows you to see things for what they are, like the fact that God is LOVE and love is the only thing that is real. Nothing else exists outside of love.
Remember, your emotions carry vital information for your growth, maturity, and healing which is surrounded by love.
When you deny your emotions, any of them, you are preventing yourself from healing. Thereby, you remain stuck in the same cycles day after day.
You are always free to choose when that cycle ends. If you’re ready to end the cycles, get unstuck, begin and/or continue healing, then let me invite you to my Virtual Inner Child Healing Retreat. The virtual retreat will be hosted from September 20th-24th.
This retreat was born while I was on my own deep, personal healing journey. Like childbirth, it was painful. But also like childbirth, it provides me with great joy. If you’d like to learn more, click below.
