Time to Step Into Your Own Shadow

Before you leave this post and accuse me of being crazy, please hear me out as I discuss exactly what I mean about stepping into your shadow self.

First of all, everyone has a shadow self, including me. I know, as powerful as I am, it’s hard to believe. Just kidding.

The shadow is NOT a bad thing OR something to be “done away with.” The shadow is the part of you that you try to hide from others BUT it’s the part of you that YOU need to explore.

Your shadow self is your inner darkness. Again, everyone has inner darkness. It includes the parts of you that have been disowned, repressed, and rejected BY YOU.

The good news is, when you explore the shadow parts of you, you open up the path to enlightenment.

Anyway, the shadow part of me is very selfish. I’m not talking about being a little selfish, I’m talking about “if I can have everything to myself I would” selfish.

Growing up Selfish 

I remember being a little girl, one of five children, and I hated that I had to share EVERYTHING with my sister and three brothers.

To make matters worse, at least to me, my mother would buy all of the kids on our block in the neighborhood candy from the store. And when there wasn’t enough of something to share with EVERYONE, my mother wouldn’t let me have it.

For the record, my mother has the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever known. I know that now but I didn’t realize it back then.

Anyway, I never wanted to share anything with anyone. I remember always being that way. There is not a single experience that triggered this feeling in me…

…it was just always there. It was hiding in the shadow.

The Ugly Side of the Shadow Self 

To be honest with you, I’ve known that I was selfish for a very long time but I continually denied this part of me because it wasn’t socially acceptable to be selfish…let alone admit that you’re selfish.

The more I denied this part of me, the more selfish I became. I would constantly make excuses as to WHY I didn’t feel it necessary to share or give.

I would say things like, “if I give to them, who’s going to give to me?” or “why would I share with them if they already have so much?” 

Do you see how self-centered this approach or mindset is? 

It stems from a lack mindset. This mindset, by the way, has nothing to do with money. There are lots of rich people with a lack mindset. 

In fact, greed and poverty share the same lack mindset.

Back to the shadow self…

The more I denied being selfish, the further I seemed to be getting away from my aspirations, dreams, goals. 

It wasn’t until one day that I decided to explore this part of me. At the time, I didn’t realize that it was the shadow part of me.

Truth be told, I didn’t know what the shadow self or shadow work was. I felt, intuitively, that I needed to explore this part of me.

The Beautiful Side of the Shadow Self

I remember the day I decided to explore this side of me like it was yesterday. I was still working in the corporate world and I was on my way to get my kids from school.

While I was sitting at the light, I was thinking about the legacy that I would leave for my kids and how I wanted to be remembered by the world.

I thought about it for a few seconds and the word “giver” dropped in my spirit and I remember thinking, “but I’m not a giver.” The very next thought I had was “it’s time to start.”

Truthfully, the thought of not being a giver frightened me. I thought about all of my experiences of being a little girl and feeling angry and upset when my mother would “take” from me and “give” to others.

That was a feeling I no longer wanted. Those memories no longer served me and I didn’t want to BE that anymore. 

I decided, that day, that I did, in fact, want to leave a legacy of giving and not only that…

…I wanted to BE a giver…NOW!

Embracing Your Shadow

When I got home and settled my household, I did the one thing that I do BEST when I’m feeling unsure, vulnerable, scared, etc…meditate.

I meditated on the idea of transforming from a selfish person to a giving person. I allowed myself to feel what it would be like to give freely of myself and my possessions. That feeling always motivates me to move from a state of selfishness to a state of giving.

I also learned, during that same meditation, that being selfish, not to the extreme that I was in my shadow, was one of the reasons why I was achieving success in my personal and professional life.

For the most part, I’ve always been really good at “me” time. Even before I married and started a family of my own, I’ve known when it was time for me to pull away from everyone and decompress.

It was this awareness, being selfish, that empowered me to help other women find their “balance” in their own lives. 

I learned that being selfish is an important part of our personal development and without this part of the shadow, we’d let people take advantage of us, lack important boundaries, and a host of other things. 

While this blog post only mentions selfishness as part of the shadow self, as mentioned earlier, it’s any part of you that you’re trying to hide from the rest of the world, whether it’s consciously or unconsciously.

If you’re ready to explore more, then let me invite you to register for my FREE on-demand/Netflix style masterclass where we’re going to learn more about exploring your shadow self, inner child, and so much more.

Click here or on the image below to sign up for FREE!