Let me just say this: your inner child is overcompensating and causing you to overreact and it is ruining your life!
I get it, this may sound harsh but sometimes you need to hear it straight up, with no chaser, am I right?
Because you have not taken the time to heal your inner child, it’s causing you to:
- snap on people (overreact)
- not set appropriate boundaries for yourself and others
- people please
- chase perfectionism
- and so much more
Believe me when I tell you that you are not alone. At one point in my life, I was guilty of doing most of the things mentioned above.
It wasn’t until I took the time to heal my inner child that my life began to change for me.
The Anger and Rage of my Inner Child
If you’ve been following me for a while then you’ve probably heard this story before. If not, brace yourself.
When I was a little girl, between the ages of 5-7, my mother was physically abused by her boyfriend.
I remember getting off of the school bus, in kindergarten, and seeing the paramedics outside of our house with the front door wide open. When I entered the house, I saw my mother sitting in a chair with two black eyes and throwing up blood.
It was a devastating experience.
The neighbors quickly came and got my sister and brothers and me and took us to their house for dinner. I remember being so confused and wondering what happened.
Eventually, I learned that it was her boyfriend who beat her, almost to death!
You would think that, that would be the end of the relationship BUT it wasn’t. My mother continued to date this man and there was no explanation or apology given to us as to what happened.
They carried on their relationship for a couple of years and finally broke up when my mother had had enough.
Looking Back
Really quickly before I finish the rest of MY STORY, you should know that my mother, as a little girl, witnessed her father being violent with her mother.
It is NOT a coincidence that my mother’s first relationship, after leaving my father, was with a physically abusive man.
The saying, you can’t heal what you aren’t willing to reveal is so true. A brief moment of introspection, on my mother’s part, could have prevented history from repeating itself. But, you don’t know what you don’t know and I’m sure my mother simply didn’t know.
This is one of the main reasons why it is important for you to be willing to sit with and connect with your inner child. Ignoring and avoiding that part of who you are will cause you to repeat the same cycles, overreact, and overcompensate.
Continuing On
For years when I would think about that experience, it would make me sad. I would cry and feel sorry for myself and my mother.
One day, I decided to explore the memory further to see where it would take me. I was ready to heal that part of my inner child.
As I sat with the memories of those experiences (trust me, there were many of them. He even shot a gun into our house while we were sleeping) I found myself enraged!
I started out sitting in my meditation chair and before I knew it, I found myself punching the air and dropping all kinds of “F” bombs!
This actually surprised me because I don’t use swear words but that day, they just kept flowing from my mouth and I was unapologetic about it. I instinctively and intuitively knew that’s what needed to happen.
I wish I could tell you how long the process lasted but the truth is, I lost track of time. In that moment, time didn’t exist.
Let me just say that by the time I was done with that inner child work, my eyes were bloodshot red and swollen.
Going Forward
After this experience, I sat back down in my chair to process that experience and it dawned on me that every time I overreacted, especially with anger, it stemmed from my childhood experience.
All those years, I thought the incident made me sad, which it did, but it mostly made me angry. I had so much suppressed anger that I would sometimes lash out at people for no reason.
And, to avoid experiencing that anger I would try to make everyone around me happy so that they would like me.
The Healed Inner Child
As soon as I reconciled that experience, I felt a huge weight lifted from my body. I instantly felt lighter AND I was able to look back at other experiences and forgive those who I felt “offended me.”
I realized that a lot of my responses were from the 5-7 year old Andréa, not the adult Andréa.
The truth is, all of us have an inner child story or stories and they are nothing to be ashamed of.
In fact, our brains are wired to tell stories. We make stories about everything…even going to the bathroom.
In order to live a fulfilled, purposeful life, it’s important that you become familiar with and examine your inner child.
If you’re ready to explore more, then let me invite you to my Virtual Inner Child Healing Retreat where we’re going to heal your inner child, explore your shadow self, and so much more.
The virtual retreat is hosted from September 20th-24th! Click here or on the image below to sign up for FREE!
